Discussion:
Who can help me polish my language?
(too old to reply)
dreaminggirl
2008-01-09 04:56:17 UTC
Permalink
I am a Chinese graduate student. The following is part of my master's
thesis. Who can help me polish my language. Thank you very much.




William Somerset Maugham (1874--1965), born in Paris, is one of the
most popular writers in British literature. He has created about 20
novels, more than 100 short stories, 32 plays as well as lots of
memoirs, travel essays, comments etc., all his life. Maugham has shown
his versatility in all the literary fields except poem. what's more, a
number of his novels have been adapted to movies. The income from
these successful movie adaptations and his writings allow Maugham to
live a very comfortable life. Maugham's creation period spans as long
as 65 years and his works are very popular around the world. However,
despite his popularity among ordinary readers all over the world, he
has not received the due recognition from the literary critics or his
peers for many of them hold that he is just a writer in"the very first
row of the second raters". (maugham The Summing Up, 1938)Maugham's
main works include Of Human Bondage, which is considered as his
representative work, The Moon and Sixpence, The Razor's Edege, Cakes
and Ale and so on. It can be said safely that Maugham's works have the
strongest exotic flavor among British writers. Due to his hobby,
Maugham all his life has visited lots of countries and regions such as
Russia, South America, the South Pacific islands and so on. Maugham is
also very interested in the Oriental culture especially Chinese
culture and he visited China in 1999 with his life-long companion
Gerald Haxton. Based on his travel around China, he has created the
travel essays collection On a Chinese Sreen, the novel The Painted
Veil , the short story The Letter which is latter adapted to the play
The Letter, and the play East of Suez. Other works related to China or
Chinese people include Of Human Bondage, short stories Ah King, The
Narrow Corner, A Casual Affair, The Door of Opportunity and so on. By
adopting Imagology of comparative literature, this thesis will
research the images of China in Maugham works. Meanwhile, Said's
Orientalism theory is also adopted as an auxiliary theory in this
thesis. Since the images of China are mainly depicted and reflected in
On a Chinese Sreen, this thesis will focus on this work.
Athel Cornish-Bowden
2008-01-09 10:25:27 UTC
Permalink
Post by dreaminggirl
I am a Chinese graduate student. The following is part of my master's
thesis. Who can help me polish my language. Thank you very much.
William Somerset Maugham (1874--1965), born in Paris, is
He was, yes, but I'm not sure that he is.
Post by dreaminggirl
one of the
most popular writers in British literature. He has created about 20
He wrote about 20 novels.

First: use the simple past, not the perfect, for somerone who is no
longer writing. "create" is pretentious: you might find it in an
advertisement, but in a simple statement of fact "write" is better.
Post by dreaminggirl
novels, more than 100 short stories, 32 plays as well as lots of
many. "lots of" is too colloquial for the general style of your essay
Post by dreaminggirl
memoirs, travel essays, comments etc., all his life
written throughout his life.
Post by dreaminggirl
. Maugham
He
Post by dreaminggirl
has shown
showed
Post by dreaminggirl
his versatility in all the literary fields except poem
poetry Is this true, anyway? What about journalism, advertising copy,
pornography, technical writing...
Post by dreaminggirl
. what's more,
Moreover, (and start every sentence with a capital letter.
Post by dreaminggirl
a
number of his novels have been adapted to movies.
films. "movies" is too colloquial.
Post by dreaminggirl
The income from
these successful movie adaptations and his writings allow
allowed
Post by dreaminggirl
Maugham
him
Post by dreaminggirl
to
live a very comfortable life. Maugham's
His
Post by dreaminggirl
creation
creative
Post by dreaminggirl
period spans as long
as 65 years and his works are
If this is true (which I'm not convinced of), say "continue to be"
rather than "are"
Post by dreaminggirl
very popular around the world. However,
despite his popularity among ordinary readers all over the world, he
has not received the due recognition from the
Delete "the"
Post by dreaminggirl
literary critics or his
peers for many of them hold that he is just a writer in"the very first
row of the second raters". (maugham
Maugham. Begin a proper name with a capital letter.
Post by dreaminggirl
The Summing Up, 1938)
Space missing after )
Post by dreaminggirl
Maugham's
His
Post by dreaminggirl
main works include Of Human Bondage, which is considered as his
representative work, The Moon and Sixpence, The Razor's Edege,
Edge (typo, probably)
Post by dreaminggirl
Cakes
and Ale and so on. It can be said safely that Maugham's works have the
strongest exotic flavor among British writers.
I think it's exceedingly unlilkely that this is true, let alone
something that can safely be said.
Post by dreaminggirl
Due to his hobby
You need to say what hobby you are talking about.
Post by dreaminggirl
,
Maugham all his life has
delete "has"

etc., etc. I don't have time to say more. However, these are three
sorts of mistakes you make more than once:

1. Learn when to use capital letters.

2. Use appropriate tenses: the perfect is rarely appropriate for
talking about someone who has been dead for quite a long time.

3. It's not necessary to mention the subject's name in every sentence:
learn how to use pronouns. You can repeat the name occasionally if you
think readers may have forgotten who you arte discussing, or if you've
been talking about someone else in an intervening piece of text.
Post by dreaminggirl
visited lots of countries and regions such as
Russia, South America, the South Pacific islands and so on. Maugham is
also very interested in the Oriental culture especially Chinese
culture and he visited China in 1999 with his life-long companion
Gerald Haxton. Based on his travel around China, he has created the
travel essays collection On a Chinese Sreen, the novel The Painted
Veil , the short story The Letter which is latter adapted to the play
The Letter, and the play East of Suez. Other works related to China or
Chinese people include Of Human Bondage, short stories Ah King, The
Narrow Corner, A Casual Affair, The Door of Opportunity and so on. By
adopting Imagology of comparative literature, this thesis will
research the images of China in Maugham works. Meanwhile, Said's
Orientalism theory is also adopted as an auxiliary theory in this
thesis. Since the images of China are mainly depicted and reflected in
On a Chinese Sreen, this thesis will focus on this work.
--
athel
Claude Weil
2008-01-09 10:44:51 UTC
Permalink
On Tue, 8 Jan 2008 20:56:17 -0800 (PST), dreaminggirl
Post by dreaminggirl
I am a Chinese graduate student. The following is part of my master's
thesis. Who can help me polish my language. Thank you very much.
William Somerset Maugham (1874--1965), born in Paris, is one of the
most popular writers in British literature. He has created about 20
novels, more than 100 short stories, 32 plays as well as lots of
memoirs, travel essays, comments etc., all his life. Maugham has shown
his versatility in all the literary fields except poem.
Here, prefer "except poetry".
Post by dreaminggirl
what's more, a
The "w" of "What" ought to be upper case: "W".
Post by dreaminggirl
number of his novels have been adapted to movies. The income from
these successful movie adaptations and his writings allow
"allowed"
Post by dreaminggirl
Maugham to
live a very comfortable life. Maugham's creation period spans as long
as 65 years and his works are very popular around the world. However,
despite his popularity among ordinary readers all over the world, he
has not received the due recognition from the literary critics or his
peers for many of them hold that he is just a writer in
"the very first
A space is missing before "the very first"
Post by dreaminggirl
row of the second raters". (maugham
Capitalize "Maugham"
Post by dreaminggirl
The Summing Up, 1938)
Here you need a full stop and a space.
Post by dreaminggirl
Maugham's
main works include Of Human Bondage, which is considered as
delete "as" and replace it with "to be"
Post by dreaminggirl
his
representative work, The Moon and Sixpence, The Razor's Edege
Not "Edege" but "Edge"
Post by dreaminggirl
, Cakes
and Ale and so on. It can be said safely that Maugham's works have the
strongest exotic flavor among British writers. Due to
Replace "Due to" with "Owing to"
Post by dreaminggirl
his hobby,
Maugham all his life
Replace "Maugham all his life" with "Durîng all his life,Maugham"
Post by dreaminggirl
has
Delete "has"
Post by dreaminggirl
visited lots of countries and regions such as
Russia, South America, the South Pacific islands and so on.
You do not need "and so on", since you introduced the list with "such
as"
Post by dreaminggirl
Maugham is
also very interested in the Oriental culture
set a comma after "culture"
Post by dreaminggirl
especially Chinese
culture
set a comma after "culture"
Post by dreaminggirl
and he visited China in 1999 with his life-long companion
Gerald Haxton. Based on
Replace "Based on" with "From"
Post by dreaminggirl
his travel around China, he has created
Replace "he has created" with "he created"
Post by dreaminggirl
the
travel essays collection On a Chinese Sreen
I presume that "Sreen" ought to be "Screen"
Post by dreaminggirl
, the novel The Painted
Veil , the short story The Letter which is latter adapted to
Replace "which is later adapted to" with ", later adapted to"
Post by dreaminggirl
the play
The Letter, and the play East of Suez. Other works related to China or
Chinese people include Of Human Bondage, short stories Ah King, The
Narrow Corner, A Casual Affair, The Door of Opportunity and so on. By
adopting Imagology
Th word "imagology" is unknown to me.
Post by dreaminggirl
of comparative literature, this thesis will
research the images of China in Maugham works. Meanwhile, Said's
Orientalism theory is also adopted as an auxiliary theory in this
thesis. Since the images of China are mainly depicted and reflected in
On a Chinese Sreen
"Screen"?
Post by dreaminggirl
, this thesis will focus on this work.
Congratulations on your English. Most of the mistakes I mentioned are
oversights.

CW
--
Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com
Pat Durkin
2008-01-09 15:49:41 UTC
Permalink
Post by dreaminggirl
I am a Chinese graduate student. The following is part of my master's
thesis. Who can help me polish my language. Thank you very much.
William Somerset Maugham (1874--1965),
culture and he visited China in 1999 with his life-long companion
Gerald Haxton.
Was the 1999 a typo? (The others have made a great start in suggesting
amendments, but neither mentioned his overcoming death.)
Don Salad
2008-01-09 23:35:17 UTC
Permalink
Post by dreaminggirl
I am a Chinese graduate student. The following is part of my master's
thesis. Who can help me polish my language.
Joseph Conrad?

Thanks,
Don
Pitui Terrington
2008-01-10 01:19:13 UTC
Permalink
Post by Don Salad
Post by dreaminggirl
I am a Chinese graduate student. The following is part of my master's
thesis. Who can help me polish my language.
Joseph Conrad?
I think she ought to try one of these babies.
http://www.therockshed.com/tumbler1.html

Her words would come out so smooth Joseph Conrad could walk barefoot on
them.
b***@bookpro.com
2008-01-10 13:45:50 UTC
Permalink
Post by Pitui Terrington
Post by Don Salad
Post by dreaminggirl
I am a Chinese graduate student. The following is part of my master's
thesis. Who can help me polish my language.
Joseph Conrad?
I think she ought to try one of these babies.
http://www.therockshed.com/tumbler1.html
Her words would come out so smooth Joseph Conrad could walk barefoot on
them.
I'm polishing my language right now (IYKWIM, AITYD).

BW
Glenn Knickerbocker
2008-01-11 00:51:14 UTC
Permalink
Post by b***@bookpro.com
I'm polishing my language right now (IYKWIM, AITYD).
(IWMIKY) Language my Polishing am I now right (ATIDY).

¬R
Rachel
2008-01-11 01:13:28 UTC
Permalink
Post by b***@bookpro.com
Post by Pitui Terrington
Post by Don Salad
Post by dreaminggirl
I am a Chinese graduate student. The following is part of my master's
thesis. Who can help me polish my language.
Joseph Conrad?
I think she ought to try one of these babies.
http://www.therockshed.com/tumbler1.html
Her words would come out so smooth Joseph Conrad could walk barefoot on
them.
I'm polishing my language right now (IYKWIM, AITYD).
BW
Well, just as long as it's only your language that you are polishing.

Otherwise, I would be slightly disgusted.

(IYKNWIM, AITTYD)

Eva
2008-01-10 02:32:27 UTC
Permalink
Post by Don Salad
Post by dreaminggirl
I am a Chinese graduate student. The following is part of my master's
thesis. Who can help me polish my language.
Joseph Conrad?
Thanks,
Don
Thank all these kind people who help me correct my paper. Thank you
so much.
Polarhound
2008-01-10 04:58:38 UTC
Permalink
Post by Don Salad
Post by dreaminggirl
I am a Chinese graduate student. The following is part of my master's
thesis. Who can help me polish my language.
Joseph Conrad?
Roman Polanski, please pick up the white courtesy phone.
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